Ryan Thompson

"Don't bother using self check outs. They're about as much use as a handbrake on a rowing boat."

"^^^^^They don't charge for a large after 7pm. Utter bollocks."

"Touching yourself is frowned upon here"

"Look out for Kevo peeping through the curtains"

"Try the paint isle if you need paint"

"Take your balaclava off before entering so as not to upset the staff."